Just be who you are for heavensakes

I have been thinking a lot lately about things of this nature. I hear so many comments where people are so fake. Some how we all have this image of what we all "should be" and we act as though things are that way and not as they are. I understand you don't always want to be a Debbie downer and say all the crap that's wrong in the world, but when you are in a setting where its an open forum for discussion and learning lets discuss and learn HONESTLY. I hate sitting in a room of women where with smiles they will say something like "we just hug our kids and they just sit quietly and do everything they are supposed to", "we sing songs together my family never fights". Ugh, get real. Let me let you in on a little secret, everyone knows you are full of crap. Yep, all this time you thought you were fooling everyone but you know what? We all live in the real world and know that it can't be true. So instead of putting on a face lets be honest, let's get real. Instead I want you to say "my kids fight all the time, I don't know how to fix it, but something I am trying is singing to myself because it makes me happy and hopefully it makes me a better person to be around. I'm not sure if anyone notices but it's helping me." That would really help me. Instead of sitting there thinking surely I am not the only imperfect person here. I would get some real constructive ideas and I could actually learn something helpful. Who cares that you sometimes forget to read the scriptures, that sometimes family home evening doesn't go as planned and wasn't a spiritual as you had hoped. You are trying, you are doing the best you can, and really THAT'S OK, no one can ask more of you. Maybe someday someone will offer a solution that will actually help me be a better mother instead of making me feel like I am less than the perfect mother.

Changing my blog

I have decided to change my blog. I will be putting my education to better use. I have been having these crazy creative dreams lately (probably due to the pain killers I am taking right now). So in my drugged haze this is my new blog and my old blog will be some place I can share all my projects (maybe I'll finish some now). So spread the word, post questions you may have and we'll see how long my creativity lasts. Hope this is clear

Bad mom

I really don't know what to say right now. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by life. I yelled at my children tonight and sent them to bed. They acted like untamed monkeys at the grocery store. I had had enough. I was so mad because I have been on vacation for a week and apparently everyone behaved themselves. So, I'm sitting here contemplating why everyone is being crazy and why I got mad and why really a lot of things. Typing my thoughts here when my son came out of his room to tell me he's sorry he acted naughty. So in the middle of this post about how I am a crazy parent my child proves to me a little that maybe all is not totally lost.

SNOW

I got my wish. It has been snowing like mad, now if I could get feeling better we can enjoy sledding on the hill. My kids put on their snow clothes today after I am pretty sure I said no but they did it anyway, and after I said no I thought oh never mind if they go outside I can have some peace and quiet for a minute. This no TV until Christmas thing is more a punishment for me, but I think its working. They seem to be getting along better. I have caught them several times sitting on the couch reading to each other under a blanket, no kidding. I don't think I have done anything right there, but someone is doing a great job. They are still fighting though the evidence is in the gash on Braden's back courtesy of an upset Kaylee with a pen, just pointing out the little ray of sunshine. Didn't I say I wanted the school break? I am still looking for fun though. I got cord charts last night and my guitar tuned so I played a cord and realized I need to cut my fingernails to play.

My tree. I can't figure out how to change the direction and I should have used flash but anyway, I've just learned to put pictures on here

I am so excited

I am on the once a month posting plan.
I am really excited for Christmas. We just gave Breton's mom her birthday/Christmas present. I was so excited for it to come. I wish I could post it here but I think I'd be in trouble with copyright so I won't but we had these pictures taken of the kids in nativity costumes. They turned out so great and she loved it.
My Christmas presents will be somewhat of a let down because I already know what I am getting and I have already played with it. I am fulfilling a later in life goal of learning to play the guitar. But it's not the gifts for me that make me excited its the gifts I have made for others. I can't wait to give my sister in law her present I worked hard on it and I love what I made her. I don't think she reads this but she might so I will try to post later. I'll have to have Kami help me learn to put pictures on this thing. I am excited for the break from school. I know this one sounds so weird but last year we had so much fun sledding and playing in the snow. I am hoping that we get more snow to make it fun this year. I enjoy not having to do homework and getting to sleep in (hahaha) ok so maybe just a more relaxed pace than usual.
I am just grateful for this time of year and all that it means. I am grateful for second chances and for the Savior in my life.

Wow

The last post was before the election so it's been awhile. Tonight I just wanted to be sappy, but I gotta hurry because he really wants me to get off the computer and spend time with him. When I wrote about being grateful for things when my husband read it he said I didn't include him. It's not because I am not grateful for him it's because I don't like to put certain things out there. I don't know if that makes sense or not, but here goes a little bit of that. I do appreciate him so much, he is wonderful. Thursday, I went to the midnight movie of Twilight, shout out to my cute friends who made me laugh my butt off the entire time, the verdict on the movie is still out for me but the night was so much fun and I am glad I got to go with such fun girls. Anyway, back to the husband. Not only did he offer to take me when it was coming out on our anniversary but he was all about watching the kids, he always is great about this, which I love. The next morning I was so tired, he got up with my kids, got them ready and off to school and took my three year old with him so that I could sleep. He is so wonderful and thoughtful. Even though he didn't get all that he wanted out of the deal, he still is amazing. I don't do what I feel about him justice with my words so I think I am stopping there, but I just wanted to make it public that I do love him and am very grateful to him.