Just be who you are for heavensakes

I have been thinking a lot lately about things of this nature. I hear so many comments where people are so fake. Some how we all have this image of what we all "should be" and we act as though things are that way and not as they are. I understand you don't always want to be a Debbie downer and say all the crap that's wrong in the world, but when you are in a setting where its an open forum for discussion and learning lets discuss and learn HONESTLY. I hate sitting in a room of women where with smiles they will say something like "we just hug our kids and they just sit quietly and do everything they are supposed to", "we sing songs together my family never fights". Ugh, get real. Let me let you in on a little secret, everyone knows you are full of crap. Yep, all this time you thought you were fooling everyone but you know what? We all live in the real world and know that it can't be true. So instead of putting on a face lets be honest, let's get real. Instead I want you to say "my kids fight all the time, I don't know how to fix it, but something I am trying is singing to myself because it makes me happy and hopefully it makes me a better person to be around. I'm not sure if anyone notices but it's helping me." That would really help me. Instead of sitting there thinking surely I am not the only imperfect person here. I would get some real constructive ideas and I could actually learn something helpful. Who cares that you sometimes forget to read the scriptures, that sometimes family home evening doesn't go as planned and wasn't a spiritual as you had hoped. You are trying, you are doing the best you can, and really THAT'S OK, no one can ask more of you. Maybe someday someone will offer a solution that will actually help me be a better mother instead of making me feel like I am less than the perfect mother.

Changing my blog

I have decided to change my blog. I will be putting my education to better use. I have been having these crazy creative dreams lately (probably due to the pain killers I am taking right now). So in my drugged haze this is my new blog and my old blog will be some place I can share all my projects (maybe I'll finish some now). So spread the word, post questions you may have and we'll see how long my creativity lasts. Hope this is clear

Bad mom

I really don't know what to say right now. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by life. I yelled at my children tonight and sent them to bed. They acted like untamed monkeys at the grocery store. I had had enough. I was so mad because I have been on vacation for a week and apparently everyone behaved themselves. So, I'm sitting here contemplating why everyone is being crazy and why I got mad and why really a lot of things. Typing my thoughts here when my son came out of his room to tell me he's sorry he acted naughty. So in the middle of this post about how I am a crazy parent my child proves to me a little that maybe all is not totally lost.